Hunger in Emptiness

I don’t know about you, but my life seems to go in waves.

Sometimes my life seems so full of richness and joy that nothing feels disturbing or out of place.

But then something happens to upset whatever fullness and joy I’ve been experiencing.

It’s like whatever fullness I’ve had has been emptied out.

It’s not like I’m sinking down into despair or hopelessness (although I’ve definitely had a lot of those in the past).

Instead, its like there’s now a great yawning space within me waiting for something, anything, to fill it up.

In those times, I know I need to be very cautious. When I feel this way I can easily engage all sorts of unhealthy habits.

Whether it be filling myself with food, drink, numbing out on social media, or any other unhealthy habit, I feel the emptiness within me needs to be filled.

But how, really, can this happen? And, what opportunities can I find in such times of discomfort?

How, really, can I be filled? And, what opportunities can I find in times of discomfort?

Now, I know from experience there’s no one formula for resolving times of discomfort.

Sometimes it can come in the form of a phone call with a close friend. Sometimes it can happen by receiving therapy. Other times, it can come simply by waiting it out.

Regardless of what is needed to resolve the times of emptiness, I am very aware of how uncomfortable such times can be.

They can induce feelings of desperation, tears, crying out to the universe, and a deep desire for the pain just to go away.

In such times, it may take medication to help the feelings of emptiness go away. There is no shame in this. When you’re sick, you see a doctor–the doctor will help you.

But, medication often needs to be accompanied by inner work.

Medication often needs to be accompanied by inner work.

Again, there’s no formula for what this inner work ought to look like.

But here are some things to be aware of:

1. Spirituality must include, not exclude

When we talk about inner work, people often think spirituality will solve all their problems.

This belief can manifest itself as an aversion to seeing counsellors or psychotherapists.

It can also manifest itself as a wholesale avoidance of medication, no matter the severity of the emptiness being felt.

Both approaches are not quite right.

When it comes to such questions, I like remembering a teaching from leading philosopher of spirituality Ken Wilber: no approach is 100% right; neither is any approach 100% wrong.

Practically, this means a person must find an approach that works for them, while also recognizing that whatever they adopt will probably not work for everyone.

Therefore, it’s also worth acknowledging that a truly spiritual approach will include several ways to engage emptiness.

This is because spirituality integrates all experiences and approaches into an overall direction in life.

To prematurely exclude something simply because it doesn’t mesh with one’s own “spiritual” ideology therefore denies spirituality its capacity to include and integrate.

2. Don’t underestimate what spirituality can offer

While spirituality will naturally include several approaches to emptiness, it also has its own wisdom.

For example, Buddhism teaches that a full engagement with reality realizes the marriage of emptiness and form.

Similarly, Christianity teaches that fully human lives mediate the infinite into finite realities.

While emptiness and the infinite in both traditions bear some similarity, neither really captures the kind of emptiness I’m describing.

Instead, Christian teachings regarding desolation are a better match.

According to these teachings, everyone goes through periods of consolation and desolation.

In times of consolation, everything seems to be working. You feel you’re in tune with the universe. Life seems to work.

In periods of desolation, in contrast, life feels like grinding gears. Nothing seems to go the way it ought. Frustration, irritation, and alienation rule.

Put differently, during times of desolation, a person feels out of synch with the rest of reality.

Yes, such times are very similar to times of ill mental health. In fact, such times can cause ill mental health.

But there’s also a deeper spiritual invitation during such times.

3. Seek the emptiness’s truth

When we live our lives, we live in, among, and through everything else that’s happening in our world.

This means we’re always connected to everything and everyone in ways we scarcely can bring to words.

When the world is in turmoil, this then can also create turmoil in us.

Similarly, when the world is rejoicing, celebrating, and enjoying various things, we too can get caught up in this.

But when there is not a clear or obvious connection between what we’re experiencing and what everyone else is experiencing, then that raises questions.

Why do we see life so differently? What is it about us that creates such a difference in perspective?

These questions can be extremely uncomfortable. They can prompt the times of emptiness and desolation I’ve been writing about throughout this post.

But they also point to the fact that emptiness is often calling us to go deeper, to open ourselves to a greater reality that is far beyond what most experience within their daily existence.

Medication can be necessary to quell the anguish of such experiences. Therapy can help reframe such experiences so we don’t get caught in them.

But spirituality invites us to consider how we can expand ourselves so our sense of self is not consumed by the emptiness.

So, the truth of emptiness is that it can be a vehicle for transfiguration and transformation, if only we learn to use it as such.

Hungry beginnings

While none of this diminishes the need for good mental health support when times get desperate, it does encourage a holistic perspective.

Spirituality invites all people to consider how times of felt emptiness can prompt growth and expansion.

Spirituality invites everyone to consider how times of emptiness might in fact be signs of hunger–hunger for something better, something beyond, something that can satisfy.

Such hunger invites all of us to seek that which can truly satisfy. And that seeking is just the beginning of a full and lifelong journey . . .

Disclaimer: The advice and suggestions offered on this site are not substitutes for consultation with qualified mental or spiritual health professionals. The perspectives offered here are those of the author, not of those professionals with whom readers might have relationships as clients or patients. In crisis situations, readers are encouraged to contact these professionals for appropriate support and treatment if needed.