Embracing the Great Clarification

I consider myself lucky.

As COVID-19 was becoming a “thing” over a year ago, I had a number of pleasant surprises. I was offered a new job that could all be done remotely. A family friend agreed to move in with us to help with childcare. She also contributed generally to keeping the house running. My wife is an essential worker. No one in our house lost their job. Overall, our household fared quite well.

I recognize that many people did not have stories like this. There are many in my circle whose careers got put on hold by the pandemic. I’ve been part of work-related processes that have either greatly slowed or halted altogether. I’ve spoken with many who experienced ill mental health brought on by pandemic-related isolation. I’ve also worked with people whose tendencies toward addiction and abusive behaviours were exacerbated by everything produced by the pandemic.

Now, I too have experienced feelings of isolation–it’s been really hard not seeing friends and coworkers as often as I would previously. And, now our kids’ school and daycare have reopened, there are many days I don’t see another flesh and blood human being in person. Like many, Zoom has become a way of life for me. And, yes, Zoom fatigue is very, very, real. Yet I recognize that my family does come home every evening. Matters are very different for those who are single, widowed, or shut in.

As a result, I am acutely aware that all of this, all the “luck” I experienced, is an expression of my incredible privilege. There are many who have suffered deep losses due to the pandemic. I therefore make it a practice to remind myself of that reality every time I start feeling down, despondent, or especially hard done by.

There are many who have suffered deep losses due to the pandemic. I therefore make it a practice to remind myself of that every time I start feeling down, despondent, or especially hard done by.

Early on in the pandemic, I started wondering whether we could think of this time as “The Great Clarification.” I wondered this for a number of reasons. But as I thought more about it, the more it made sense.

When forced to isolate ourselves, to put our lives on hold for an unforeseen amount of time, this can bring out either the best or the worst in us. In other words, it can reveal who we really are, all our pain and suffering, hopes and dreams, despairs and triumphs, all at the same time. It can also reveal to us what really matters in life, how we can hope to make our lives count for something, or how we can allow ourselves to become buried in all our anger and frustrations.

I have therefore come to see the past eighteen months as a time that has laid bare the world’s true identity. And now, at a time when many places are considering what their “back to normal” might look like, we’re all having to figure out what this means for all of us, both individually and collectively.

Here are three lessons I believe we’ll need to consider as we move toward living through the emerging new realities:

1. We’re all connected

This may seem obvious, but viruses spread when we’re in close contact with others. At this point you could easily shrug and say, “Duh! I already knew that.” But there’s actually more to this picture.

When I think over the past year, not only was it dominated by the COVID-19 pandemic. But it was also characterized by incredible social and political instability. Protests, racially motivated violence, the ongoing climate crisis, conspiracy theories, and deep polarization were all consistent themes on various news feeds.

All this raises the question: is it possible to heal our deep divisions? Is it possible to look beyond individual concerns and meet some of the challenges we are encountering as a species, as a planet?

I’m not sure how to answer this question, but here’s what the pandemic has made obvious: we’re all connected in ways we’ll never be able to understand. Just as a virus spreads by close contact, so too do ideas, attitudes, and perceptions of others.

All this is best illustrated by observing how social media is now everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and TikTok: all these are now commonplaces. A decade ago it was difficult to imagine the roles these platforms now play in public consciousness and government policies. But here we are, in a world where policy is made by tweet, and opinions, perspectives, and tastes are shaped by influencers who have little power outside their online presence. This world is very different than the one we all experienced even just ten years ago.

Due to this reality, it is now possible to see how whatever we put out, whatever we articulate, actually makes a difference. When we put a post onto social media, it essentially gives others permission to agree or disagree. Social media has thus become an incredible tool for building community and connection. Yet, as we are all becoming aware, social media also has great potential for inciting hatred and causing real harm.

So, while I’m not going to target specific views, I am going to ask: what kind of world do we want to build? And, what can each of us do to mobilize the tremendous influence each of us has, both on social media and off it, to build the world we want to see? Will our anger and frustration fuel the increasing polarization we’ve all been seeing? Or, can we envision a hope-filled future for ourselves, one that brings people together in pursuit of the good for everyone?

2. Our actions embody our values

A few years ago, when #MeToo was gaining momentum, we all saw how powerful men, who had accomplished a lot, also hurt many women through their sexually inappropriate behaviours.

While it was easy for many of us to condemn these men, calling them out as examples of “toxic masculinity” who perpetuated the dominant “rape culture,” few of us considered how many of us often cause significant harms on a daily basis. The difference is the harms most of us cause are often judged acceptable, mainly because they are outside the view of public attention.

In contrast, the pandemic has taught us that actions taken privately often have significant public consequences.

For example, attending private events without proper precautions can now result in dozens of COVID infections. Not only does this directly affect the health of those who have been infected. But it also affects health care systems and the people who work within them who now have to care for those who have fallen ill.

To see ourselves only as individuals, accountable only to ourselves, thus fails to consider the many people who are unavoidably affected by all the choices we make. And, while most of us act out of good intentions and strive to live with integrity, even the most principled of us cannot foresee all the ways our actions will affect others.

We might therefore ask: How best can we embody the values we say we endorse? To what extent are our actions consistent with our values? And, what truths about us do our actions reveal, especially if our actions contradict what we say we believe?

3. Our understandings of reality matter

The science is clear: viruses spread when people are in close contact with one another. It is also clear the coronavirus can be deadly–the death tolls worldwide have demonstrated how lethal COVID-19 can be.

One other thing is clear: infection rates have been higher in groups that have questioned the science. Those who discount the severity of this illness, who believe governments are trying to control us by enforcing infection prevention measures: these are the groups that have the higher rates of illness.

Similarly, jurisdictions that rushed to reopen after various lockdowns also experienced higher rates of infection. Those that waited now have been able to reopen almost fully, simply because their seemingly harsher restrictions were also more successful in controlling the spread of the virus.

All this demonstrates that how we understand reality makes a real difference in our lives and in the lives of others.

I therefore believe those who approach reality with a deeply entrenched us-or-them mentality are more likely to polarize in times of crisis. In contrast, those who strive to build a shared vision of reality have increased chances of achieving positive outcomes over the long term.

But in all this there are two crucial issues: trust and truth. How can you trust another person is telling you the truth if you don’t trust them as a person?

When striving to build a shared vision of reality, then, it is absolutely necessary that we trust one another. If we don’t trust one another, it will be impossible to build the shared vision we all need to move into the future successfully.

So, while we may trust the science and its perspectives on what is really going on with coronavirus, do we also need to take the time to learn from those who don’t share our perspectives? Can they teach us something about fear, or about disempowerment, or about anger and frustration? Is there a way I can receive such people as people, rather than demonizing them for holding views I disagree with?

Unfortunately, too often we understand reality as only being about facts, figures, metrics, or data. However, all these things and what they mean affect the lives of real people. And, these real people may or may not share our concerns when we interpret the data. We therefore ignore this human dimension to our peril.

Putting it all together

The bottom line?

While these lessons may not be particularly new, the COVID-19 pandemic has clarified precisely how urgent it is we take them on board. When faced with the possibility of causing another person to become seriously ill, or becoming seriously ill ourselves, we are all required to seriously re-examine how we understand and engage life.

So, in a time when all of us are anxiously wanting life to return to “normal,” this is also a time when we can honestly evaluate what we really want to get out of life.

For my part, I hope the past eighteen months have taught us how absolutely crucial it is that we practice kindness and compassion for the sake of building community. The millions of people who have been negatively affected by the pandemic demand this of us.

While all this may seem warm and fuzzy, and perhaps a bit airy-fairy, it’s actually not. My concrete decisions manifest the values I seek to embody, and these values are informed by how I understand the nature of reality. Because we are all connected, I therefore choose to make decisions that will improve the lives of others, rather than simply shore up my own needs for safety and security.

I therefore ask: What kind of world do you live in? What kind of world do you want to live in? And, how can you live your life in such a way that will help you actually get you there?

I wish you well on your journey.

Disclaimer: The advice and suggestions offered on this site are not substitutes for consultation with qualified mental or spiritual health professionals. The perspectives offered here are those of the author, not of those professionals with whom readers might have relationships as clients or patients. In crisis situations, readers are encouraged to contact these professionals for appropriate support and treatment if needed.