Signs, Signals, and Choice

Not so long ago, I was having a lot of conflict with my daughter. We weren’t fighting about anything in particular. I would just get annoyed with her, and then she would get annoyed with me. Pretty soon, conflict seemed unavoidable. And, it was affecting other members of the family.

After discussing the situation with my wife, I decided I needed to do something special with my daughter. So, as we were going through her bedtime routine together, she and I talked about how we were fighting so much. That was good. We both apologized to each other. We also agreed to make things better between us.

Now, I don’t know about your family, but in our family, food is one way we show love to one another. We like good food, and we like preparing food together. I’m usually the one doing the cooking, so when my kids are involved, that makes them feel included. It also helps them feel they’re contributing to something we all enjoy.

So, after our apologies, I said to my daughter, “How would you like to make pancakes, sausage, and bacon with me for breakfast tomorrow?” My daughter got a big smile on her face and said, “That sounds really good!”

So, then I needed to go to the grocery store. In our area, there are several grocery stores closeby, but there’s one in particular we tend use for quick errands. It’s not a big store. But, for the most part, we can get whatever we need there.

Yet, for whatever reason, I felt I didn’t want to go to that grocery store. Instead, I decided I would go to one that was a bit farther away that we also often use.

As I drove to this grocery store, I was feeling pretty good about how I handled the situation with my daughter. I was also really looking forward to cooking with her the following morning.

So, perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised as I walked into the grocery store and saw the display just inside the main entrance. But I was.

There, in clear view for all to see, right in inside the door, were pancake mix, syrup, bacon, and sausage! They were the featured sale items at that store that week.

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As someone interested in spirituality, I pay attention to seemingly random coincidences like these. Typically, these kinds of events are called synchronicities, using the term coined by the great Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung.

According to Jung, synchronicities typically occur when a person undertakes significant work in psychological healing. For him, psychological patients were “primed” to take notice of events and coincidences others might consider random. Due to their psychological “priming,” patients could experience these events as highly meaningful. Patients would often understand them as affirmations of their psychological work.

Since Jung’s time, synchronicities have been understood various ways. In some New Age circles, they are sometimes understood as guidance from spirit entities. For some more scientifically minded, synchronicites can be seen as non-local quantum entanglements.

Regardless, each view has this idea at its core: a person can become so in tune with reality that circumstances seem to combine in unexpected and surprising ways. A person can always seem to be in the right place at the right time. Such people can even seem to show up in anticipation of needs that people aren’t even aware of yet.

I’ve experienced this several times in my life. I’ve also sometimes been the person showing up to meet others’ needs. But what does all this mean?

A person can become so in tune with reality that circumstances seem to combine in unexpected and surprising ways.

Without getting bogged down in detailed discussions about why and how sychronicities happen, there is one thing that bears reflection: our response.

There are several views concerning synchronicities. One writes them off as nothing more than coincidences. Another places a huge amount of weight on them, seeking interpretation after interpretation after interpretation regarding their meaning. A third approach is to see synchronicities as signposts for a person as they move through life.

From my perspective, this last option seems the most reasonable. Here’s why:

Any genuine religious or spiritual tradition has its followers’ transformation as its primary goal. Therefore, as a person goes farther down their tradition’s path, they will become increasingly in tune with the very fabric of reality.

As this movement progressess, people begin to notice more and more synchronicities. This is because the psychological filters through which they encounter reality are gradually being abandoned. This is one significant aspect of a person’s spiritual developent. As a result, there is less and less within them that limits their clear perception of the realities in and through which they live.

At first, this can seem very unsettling. All of us put psychological filters in place to protect us from perceived threats to our safety. Letting these go can therefore feel like we’re losing parts of ourselves and potentially exposing ourselves to danger.

Yet, as we slowly work with our fears and learn to trust reality with increasing depth, reality seems to respond by giving us signs to indicate it’s worthy of our trust. These often manifest as synchronicities.

Then we are faced with a choice: do we go back to our former way of being, protecting ourselves from reality? Or, do we deepen our trust in reality, treating the signs and synchronicities as indications that reality really is trustworthy?

Whatever our choice, there are consequences. Yet, if we choose to deepen our trust in reality, our experience of it is transformed, fundamentally.

No longer are we living in a state of alienation. Rather, we begin to live in a state of deep communion with all, and I mean all, that is in us and around us.

If we choose to encounter reality with deeper trust, our experience of reality is transformed, fundamentally.

In light of all this, it is worth remembering that signs are merely pointers to realities other than themselves. The same is true of synchronicities.

It may be very exciting to experience a synchronicity, especially if you start to experience them with increasing frequency. But, synchronicities are not goals in and of themselves. Rather, they signal we are on the right path. Whatever we are doing to widen our experience of reality is moving us in the right direction.

If nothing else, a synchronicity is a sign to pay attention. The universe is starting to reveal itself to you in new and different ways. Take time, reflect, consider: where might I go if I choose to follow the sign in front of me? What might happen if I choose to ignore it?

Reality is full of possibilities. When you open yourself to it, reality seems to bring the possibilities directly to you.

Disclaimer: The advice and suggestions offered on this site are not substitutes for consultation with qualified mental or spiritual health professionals. The perspectives offered here are those of the author, not of those professionals with whom readers might have relationships as clients or patients. In crisis situations, readers are encouraged to contact these professionals for appropriate support and treatment if needed.