Existing in Paradox

Over the summer I published a couple posts that articulated some of the paradoxes I see as central to the spiritual life. Why paradox? Is not paradox a logical contradiction? Can those who claim to be rational really embrace realities that are seemingly incompatible?

These are the types of questions philosophers can easily get carried away with. While I enjoy philosophy and even dabble with it more than I like to admit, paradox cannot be understood when restricted to formal logic or various rationalisms.

For those who seek to live life spiritually, paradox is a way of life. Let me put it this way:

Many of us know that to survive we need to embrace life’s practicalities–we need food to eat, water to drink, shelter and clothing to keep us warm–I could go on. But at the same time many of us are also aware there is much more to life than simply eating, drinking, working, and surviving.

This yearning, this sometimes very acute ache, can keep us searching, looking for whatever it is we feel will take us beyond life’s mundane realities and draw us into a greater sense of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.

(I’m reminded of the first song from the Disney movie Tangled when Rapunzel, the main character sings over and over again, “when will my life begin?”)

Such yearning, such searching, can take us many different directions. It can take us through numerous jobs, successive relationships, through addictions and fantasies, but whether it will lead us precisely where we need to go remains an open question.

Whether yearning or searching will lead us precisely where we need to go remains and open question.

The challenge, though, is that the yearning and the ache can be so pronounced that it can drive us to all sorts of extremes.

But in the end, if we are driven only by the yearning or the ache, unfulfillment will be our constant companion. For us to feel ourselves, the ache and the yearning need to remain with us–we simply don’t know how to be happy or connected where we are, embracing the abundant goodness that surrounds us at any given moment.

The irony is that until we embrace the goodness in our everyday existence, we will never be able to find the transcendent in any meaningful way; our permanent connection to greater meaning or purpose will always remain elusive.

Even in a state of alienation, we still have a relationship with greater meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.

But here’s a first paradox: even in a state of alienation, we still have a relationship with greater meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. It’s just that for whatever reason we are keeping meaning, purpose, and fulfillment at bay.

Whether it be prior trauma, fear of connection, a sense of being caught or confined, whatever it is, we are choosing to remain in states or circumstances that prevent us from maximizing our contributions to life, whatever those contributions might be.

Don’t get me wrong, I regularly encounter people who are trapped and who find it next to impossible to move toward greater flourishing. But it makes me wonder: with the right kinds of help and with the right kinds of supportive communities, could it be that many more of us could enjoy greater meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in life?

The lives of individuals are dependent on the lives of collectivities and the lives of collectivities depend on the lives of individuals

So here, maybe, is a second paradox: The lives of individuals are dependent on the lives of collectivities and the lives of collectivities depend on the lives of individuals.

It’s so easy for us to believe that we live our lives in isolation. But if the age of the internet has taught us anything, it’s that we’re connected to one another in ways we can barely name.

The question, though, is, how can we consciously engage the infinite connections we share with others for the purpose of giving and receiving goodness, both as individuals and as collectivities?

This, I believe, is the question of our age.

For too many of us, it’s easier to hunker down, to take shelter from all the stuff that can quickly overwhelm or produce anxiety.

(It’s true that sometimes we do need to take shelter–believe me, as a life-long introvert, I know!)

To heal ourselves we must first be concerned with the healing of the world . . . but . . . to heal the world we must first be concerned with healing ourselves.

But here’s the paradox that seems to be the key to both our individual and collective futures: to heal ourselves we must first be concerned with the healing of the world . . . but . . . to heal the world we must first be concerned with healing ourselves.

My meaning, purpose, and fulfillment depend–intimately–on the health of the whole, but to improve the health of the whole, I need to be concerned with improving my own health, mentally, physically, spiritually, morally, socially, culturally, interpersonally.

It’s this last paradox that can reveal a sense of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment for us all.

I wonder how many might join us on the journey . . .

Disclaimer: The advice and suggestions offered on this site are not substitutes for consultation with qualified mental or spiritual health professionals. The perspectives offered here are those of the author, not of those professionals with whom readers might have relationships as clients or patients. In crisis situations, readers are encouraged to contact these professionals for appropriate support and treatment if needed.