May our Lives Embrace the World

Earlier in life I thought it was good to belong to the elite. I knew what I believed, and I knew I was saved–others be damned–in my mind they probably were. Unfortunately, I look back on that time and realize I exemplified the worst of religion.

Then I started making friends with people who did not share my beliefs. At first, I thought it was my responsibility to convince them to believe the same things as me. Their salvation rested upon it, not to mention the sense of power it gave me.

If I held the keys to salvation, I knew where I stood. I knew where others stood, especially those who did not share my beliefs and values. Life was simple; I could navigate my relationships easily. I knew what my responsibilities were.

But then I started listening, and not just in a superficial way. I started really listening.

All of a sudden, it was no longer possible for me to dismiss the viewpoints, perspectives, and experiences of others. I quickly learned others had suffered in ways similar, or even worse than what I thought I had experienced. I also learned that others had similar desires to me–all my acquaintences wanted good careers, fulfilling relationships, and a sense of meaning and purpose in life.

When I saw what connected me to other people, I realized I had much more in common with them than true differences. And this is regardless of race, culture, ethnicity, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, religion, occupation, or political alliegences. Though my younger self would likely reject the openness I now try to embody–perhaps even violently–I now feel meaningfully connected to others in ways I could never have understood or experienced earlier in life.

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Too often people believe religion is all about defining and defending truth. There is something to this idea, in that religion at its best does need to be about Truth. But, as I’ve written before, ultimate Truth can never be confined within the bounds of a single perspective or system. Truth surpasses anything anybody can meaningfully say about it.

So, when living intentionally, those who are committed to Truth need to acknowledge that everyone they encounter will embody part of Truth–not all of it, but not none of it either.

The result is, to get a fuller appreciation of Truth, we need to talk. And, perhaps more importantly, we need to listen.

The problem is there are many people who have been put in positions–socially, culturally, racially, socio-economically, politically, religiously–where they have become accustomed to defining Truth. This means they know what the truth is for them. And, because this works for them, they believe it must, must, work for all people.

This is, in part, because these versions of truth are comfortable. When a person defines what is true for them on their own terms, it means they get to define the nature of their reality. When someone or something questions this vision of reality, such a person can perceive this as a threat. It can seem their understanding of truth isn’t as true as they thought it was. What a recipe for insecurity!

One question in such situations is: What is at stake when a person is feeling threatened? Is it power? Security? Safety? Wellbeing? It could be one or two of these things; it could be all of them; it could be something else. Whatever it is, feelings of threat typically cause people to respond in extreme ways, often violently, even.

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Part of being spiritually healthy is being open to two things:

1. I become open to how I have constructed my experiences of reality. Because I have either consciously or unconsciously chosen to see life in certain ways, this has built filters around how I perceive and experience reality. Becoming spiritually healthy means I intially become aware of these filters. Then, once I am aware of them, I become open to how these filters have excluded significant parts of reality from which I might otherwise have benefitted. I become open to all that my limitations entail.
2. I become open to the perspectives of others. Because I am now open to my limitations, I can now see how others can contribute perspectives to my life that broaden out my own perspective. I will never be able to fully understand or overcome my limitations. But, by listening to the perspectives of others, I can learn to engage all of reality with kindness, gentleness, and compassion.

By building this kind of openness we begin to see how all of us are united by our frailty and fragility. Some may have built seeming fortresses of strength and power around themselves. But these are often illusions. Only by embracing our frailty and fragility can we begin to appreciate what strength and power we might have. And the path to achieving this leads us right into the heart of our own limitations. By gaining a sometimes painful awareness of our limitations, we can then connect deeply with others and thus build collective strength because of our shared frailty and fragility.

This is the basis upon which all of us can fight injustice. We cannot fight injustice on our own, simply because we have perceived ourselves as wronged in an individual sense. Rather, when we see the plight of one person is the plight of us all, that’s when deep and lasting transformation can happen.

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It is hard for me to see or understand the plight of others. I am a white, highly educated male. Although I have certainly had a number of hardships in my life, I have not suffered in the same ways as those who have experienced systemic discrimination and racism.

As I write there are anti-racism protests happening globally as the result of an African American man dying at the hands of a white police officer. Here in Canada, Indigenous peoples have faced generations of discrimination and racism, to the point that our government attempted to commit cultural genocide against them.

It is with a great deal of discomfort, and even shame, that I admit I still have to work against my unconscious attitudes that cause me to behave in discriminating ways, often without my being aware of it. For these I beg forgiveness. But I also commit myself to listen, and to listen deeply.

If we cannot embrace all of life, all of reality, all the world, then our hopes for the future will remain narrow and limited.

Yet the life to which I have committed myself, a life of integrity, of compassion, of optimism, and hopefulness, requires me to face and own the harms I have caused directly, as well as the harms from which I benefit both directly and indirectly.

Only by hearing the pain of others can we ever hope to build a better world. But to do this we must embrace the entire world, if only to hear its pain, and, within that pain, to discover hope.

May my life embrace the world, then. May all our lives embrace all the world.

All our futures depend upon it.

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Disclaimer: The advice and suggestions offered on this site are not substitutes for consultation with qualified mental or spiritual health professionals. The perspectives offered here are those of the author, not of those professionals with whom readers might have relationships as clients or patients. In crisis situations, readers are encouraged to contact these professionals for appropriate support and treatment if needed.