Reality, Whatever that Is . . .

This post comes in a series where I’ve been considering spirituality’s connection to ultimate meaning.

Previously I wrote that spirituality consists of how we respond to questions of ultimate meaning. I have also written about how our understandings of “the good” are deeply spiritual.

When the good seems to avoid us, then, our spiritual health can be in trouble if we don’t appropriately engage it.

“When the good seems to avoid us, our spiritual health can be in trouble.”

This is especially true because spirituality has to do with how we perceive and experience reality.

So, when we have repeated negative experiences, the stories we tell ourselves about our lives can become similarly negative.

If we become convinced our experiences are consistently negative, we can also begin to experience reality negatively.

We can see reality as harsh, cold, and punishing. If we believe in God, we could say God is out to get us, or God is punishing us for things we may never understand.

Living life from this space can be extremely difficult, because all trust is gone. How can a person trust God or life if all they have experienced is pain, hardship, and frustration?

“A person’s vision of reality matches the stories they tell themself.”

Their vision of reality begins to match the stories they tell themself about their life.

And so, by simply holding on to some thoughts about their life, their reality becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Their life becomes negative, precisely because they are choosing to see it so.

Now, getting out of this place can be more difficult than getting into it. When a person has learned to tell their story in negative ways, they must unlearn this and begin to learn how to tell it differently.

At times this can require the help of a qualified therapist or spiritual care practitioner.

Yet, ultimately, the choice is theirs alone. Remember, the reality a person perceives is the reality they experience. So, if a person wants to change their experiences of reality, they must first change their perceptions.

This is the main foundation for spiritual health. Work with your perceptions, and your realities will change as a result.

Here are six questions to help you understand your perceptions of reality:

1. What are some repeated experiences you’ve had in life? How have these shaped how you live?
2. Do you experience reality as loving and trustworthy? Or, do you experience reality in some other way?
3. If there were one word to express how you feel about your life, what would it be? What does this tell you about yourself?
4. What dreams do you have for your future? Where do these dreams come from? Do you believe they’re realistic given what you’ve experienced in the past?
5. Who or what has helped you overcome difficulty in the past? How did your experience of life change as a result of this help?
6. What do you want to believe about life/the universe/everything? What will help you build these beliefs? What might be some challenges to building them?

Hold your beliefs about reality tenderly; they are the core of your spirituality. Most of all treat yourself gently. Regardless of what you’ve experienced, you are loved in ways you will probably never know.

May peace and love find you today.

References

Lasair, S. (2018). Spiritual care as a secular profession: Politics, theory, and practice. Journal for the Study of Spirituality 8 (1): 5-18. https://doi.org/ 10.1080/20440243.2018.1431022

Lasair, S. (2019). A Narrative Approach Spirituality and Spiritual Care in Health Care. Journal of Religion and Health [Online First]. https://rdcu.be/bSZY3

McGilchrist, I. (2009). The master and his emissary: The divided brain and the making of the western world. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

Disclaimer: The advice and suggestions offered on this site are not substitutes for consultation with qualified mental or spiritual health professionals. The perspectives offered here are those of the author, not of those professionals with whom readers might have relationships as clients or patients. In crisis situations, readers are encouraged to contact these professionals for appropriate support and treatment if needed.